Bones' Bad Day
by Jenn loves bones
Summary: Someone evil or kind to those with eyes? steals all of Bone's hideous necklaces, she goes on a desperate chase with the help of her little squinties. Please review, I put it on at a terrible time so no one has read but i promise its worth it.


_CHAPTER 1_ **The Discovery**

Temperance Brennan stretched and yawned in a cat-like manner, sliding from between blindingly white sheets (that detergent really did the trick in the last wash). Her eyes opened allowing just a tiny sliver of morning in before she had to close them again so that her retinas weren't permanently damaged from the intensely-blinding bed-linen. She attempted to reach her bathroom without the aid of sight and after bouncing off the door frame twice, had to admit maybe Booth was right when he said he had better senses than her although she was unsure whether he meant that literally.

After dressing in her usual uniform of too long skirt and blouse with large collar she gazed into the mirror and sung happily "Daymm, she fine...I don't care cos she mine" she imagined several FBI agents singing this as they snatched at her. Mm, Sounded good. She mentally shoved Booth from her fantasy but he ran back in laughing. Now Booth wouldn't leave her alone in her daydreams too?! What was the world coming to? Her disgusted face melted into one of whimsical and slightly vain smile, though she would never admit it, as she smoothed gleaming chestnut hair. Now for her trademark necklace. Or as Cam had once told her in a confidential drunk moment, 'Those fricken monstrosities on strings', that was right before Cam threw up all down her cream-silk party dress. That had REALLY been a party.

Brennan felt she was drifting from the point. The point was- no doubt about it she glowed today. Wow. No wait, the point was she needed a necklace. She tore her eyes from the mirror but glanced back out of the corner of her eye to admire her awesome butt. She opened her large jewellery box with the care of a wrestler towards his opponent. They were material goods, easy to replace so _whatever_, not like family, mental note to be cold to Max/her dad today since she felt particularly tormented by his abandonment at this moment.

The jewelery box creaked like the door in a horror movie but you would creak too if your hinge had nearly been ripped off. Amazingly she found it...empty? Just yesterday! Where? She searched around her room. She checked under the bed, why it would be there she had no clue. Nope. Gone? Gone. She loved her huge chunky necklaces that took over her neck and wrecked every outfit she put on her curvaceous body. They dragged her head down but maybe that was a good thing she thought defensively since according to a book she read real men hated tall girls.

All that was left in the box was a tiny piece of something rolled up. Being a scientist she opened her top drawer and removed a set of rubber gloves, 4 different types of tweezers, an evidence bag and a Petri-dish. She elegantly plucked the paper out and put it in the bag then quickly snatched her hand bag and coat and rushed for the door. She bounced off the door frame again. Damn. That was going to bruise although her bleeding nose would probably draw a little more attention. She held a tissue to it and snatched her keys then maneuvered towards her apartment car park.

When she arrived at the Jeffersonian she wasted no time in telling the team about her misfortune.

"I need your help,"

"Of course, Doctor Brennan."

"Zack, please get your hands off my butt,"

"Sorry, Doctor Brennan, I am read a book on how to come onto a female."

"Smooth, Zack." Hodgins smirked.

"Focus people!" Screeched Brennan while simultaneously slapping Zack's wandering hands. No one had ever heard her screech and they hurriedly huddled around her evidence bag. She slowly opened it, pausing between each tiny movement looking stricken.

"Come on, sweetie, we have actual cases to start on."

"Wrong move, Ange," Hodgins muttered out of the corner of his looked ready to explode.

"I'm just interested to solve THIS case, sweetie!" Angela amended hurriedly.

Brennan sped up slightly and unraveled the paper with two pairs of tweezers under a strong light. It was OTT but guys, this is Brennan. The paper uncurled and they read the first word "As" and then it curled back up swallowing its secrets again. Zack gasped.

"Cool it, Zack." Hodgins snarled.

Brennan tried again, again it curled up.

"It must have some mechanism-" The tweezers were snatched from her hands and Cam was holding the paper open to reveal tiny neat printing.

"Italicized 7 point five size times new roman font," Zack explained pointlessly. "A classic font used by..." He trailed off looking like a deer caught between two cars about to collide head on. Those cars were Brennan and Hodgins' glares. Cam read out the note in an epic voice,

"_**TB, I have your necklaces, you can never hope to have them back but there is hope for having them replaced, look no further than the car park, third curb on the right side by space 16b."**_

Zack gurgled. "It's infected!" Everyone stared at him.

"T.B, tuberculosis! It must contain _Mycobacterium Tuberculosis,_ first our lungs will be consumed-" Zack began to pull off his shirt.

"The showers!"

"Ooh are we playing strip poker?" Angela made to pull off her shirt, Hodgins' eyes popped out slightly.

"I'm in!" He replied, thrilled.

"Keep your clothes on!" Cam thundered causing both to quickly button their coats and shirts.

"Zack, what the hell? There is no disease! TB isn't tuberculosis." Cam chided him in something akin to shock at Zack's misinterpretation. Even Brennan turned and considered him as one does a small child who just randomly peed in the bookcase.

"Temperance Brennan," She replied slowly "TB, Temperance Brennan."

"Oh." He picked up his shirt sheepishly and pulled it back over his head hiding his ribs and pasty flesh from sight.

"What are we waiting for?" Yelped Angela feeling slightly warm in the cheeks after letting Hodgins 'help' her button up her shirt due to her newly formed 'problem' with buttons.

The cluster made their way off of the platform in a rush discarding the note and tweezers.


End file.
